Quick Family Updates:

Brennan turned 21. I don't think he quite made it to 21 shots/drinks-and he calls himself an Irishman. Lightweight. Really, it was a good time, and now just one more to go. Smith Vegas Vacation 2010!!? (Doing a "Landmine" shot in this photo, 3 waters, 1 tequila, 1 vodka, 1 rum.)

February 18th

Leah graduated from Kansas State in December. Yay! It might be safe to assume she is the last one to graduate from college...the boys may be hopeless. (Here we are at 75th Street Brewery for her graduation part-ay.)
Xander is 2, and apparently thinks you are supposed to eat the flame.

February 16th

Poor

After being let outside, right before bed, Tali came back in the house bringing with her a trail of blood. She ripped off her entire toenail. A fact she was blissfully unaware of (probably because of the 6 degree weather) until I started messing with it. After I covered it in gauze and electrical tape (lay off, its all we had) all she did was sit and stare at it - meanwhile, Matt and I couldn't quit laughing. Sympathy is not a strong suit for either of us. Maybe we shouldn't ever have children...

PS - She is currently at the vet, and the grand total will be $150 to take care of her severed blood vessel.

One Year Went too Fast

For our first wedding anniversary, Matt and I went to the new restaurant: Michael Smith. Mmmm, that s*#t was good! We got "Braised Rabbit" for an appetizer - who would have thought I'd ever eat rabbit...not me. Had champaigne, grouper, 8 hour pork roast, 7-layer chocolate cake and a butterscotch tiramisu. To die for, all of it.

Oh, and don't worry, although Brennan destroyed the top tier of our wedding cake because he insisted on carrying it from the reception, despite being completely inebriated, we got a replacement. And it, too, was wonderful.

Post Swimming Career Depression

(Found this document, I wrote this about 2 years ago.)

Without swimming, I feel lazy at all times. I once swam twice a day, for 2-3 hours each time. I would also lift weights, run, and do massive amounts of dryland. I would get exhausted beyond human realms. I would be too tired to eat, too tired to sleep, if you can even imagine that. I would get so anxious and excited for swim meets that my stomach would tie in a knot, and completely quit the digestive process. If I ate too close to the meet I could feel the food just sitting there, like a weight in my stomach. And if I swam hard enough, then it would bulge, only to make me feel nauseous.

The pain I felt at the end if a 3 day or longer meet is indescribable, but so satisfying. Imagine the most excruciating growing pains (that is, if you had them) and put them in your hips, shoulders, elbows, knees and ankles. Put a Charlie horse in your abdominals, calves and traps, then, on top of that extreme exhaustion, and that’s the end of the meet. Not to mention the mental depletion of all thoughts, emotions and happiness. No matter how well I preformed, I went straight into what I have named, Post Meet Depression. Once again, with the depression I could not eat or sleep, but back to training anyways.

The constant stress swimming caused in my life never phased me. It was the other stressors that pissed me off, family, boyfriend, school, the simpler, less invasive ones. Swimming was what I lived to do, the others just got in the way, so if they caused any kind of stress I hated them. If I was stressed about swimming, then that was fine, in fact preferable. The constant challenge I got to face myself with everyday made it worth doing.

Swimming made me believe I was better than anyone I came in contact with. I knew I was in better shape, I knew I was stronger mentally, as well as physically. But now, without it, that confidence is gone. I am no longer in incredible shape. I can now sleep full nights. I can savor my food; it’s no longer a duty that must be performed to sustain life and good levels of energy. I can’t do 10 pull-ups or 50 push-ups. My hips have become equal in size to my shoulders. I have become better at tennis. I am making money, and have time to spend with my boyfriend, as well as to catch up on things I’ve put off for years. My hair is growing in places on my head that used to be worn away from cap usage, and my skin is virtually flawless. But the satisfaction I get from all of these things does not even match a week of swimming. What is the most frustrating is that it would be impossible to justify swimming anymore. I have no world-class talent. I must move on to the next phase of my life, and work toward the lucrative career I have in mind. But I must admit it’s much harder to find motivation for something, when you’ve been so passionate about something else.

The strange thing is, I don’t feel any depression, or regret. It’s a bit of a hopeless situation I am in, but my nature is to be curious and excited about the future. I look forward to challenging myself in Med-school. I hope time is all I need, so I can forget all of these horrible, wonderful feelings swimming gave me. Soon, all I did in high school and college will be a distant memory. When I talk of how I used to swim, I will be one of those people I always got annoyed with. You used to swim? Good for you, you obviously couldn’t take it, I’m swimming now. I get to say I went to the Olympic Trials, and competed in the NCAA’s and won conference, as well as an event at conference. I get to say I held multiple records at Indiana University. These things will just have to tide me over. Soon the emotion of uselessness that plagues me now will subside, and I will become the overly confident, know-it all shrink, everyone expects me to be, but for now, I am normal. Weird, huh?

Just Because I'm From Kansas City...

After senior year of high school, I left my beloved town of Kansas City, Missouri to attend school and swim at Indiana University. Previous to this big move, I had traveled quite a bit. I had been to 27 of the 50 states by the time graduation rolled around (I know this for a fact because I found a list of all the states I had visited in the back of my spiral notebook from Mrs. Hernon's Algebra class.) I mention this not to boast -because unlike most people my age, I have yet to leave the continent of North America- but to make it clear that IU was not my first out-of-town experience.

On one of my first days in Bloomington, the whole team got together to meet. We did the usual 'sit in a circle and introduce yourself, say where you're from, mention 2 interesting things about yourself, and list the events you swim' thing. This went off without a hitch, until it became my turn, "Hi, my name's Erin Smith, I'm from Kansas City..." Then the uproar. "Kansas City!? I've never met anyone from Kansas before!" "Do you live on a farm?" "Wow, how far is that?" "They have a swim team?" I was blown away. Umm, hello, Kansas City is in Missouri, and I don't think there are even farms within Kansas City limits. Does Bloomington, IN have a swim team, because if so, KC sure as hell does too. I had no idea that living in a city that had another state's name in it was such a baffling situation. After pointing out that I couldn't believe Kansas City was so intriging when we had a girl from Denmark sitting directly across from me,
I continued to explain about where I came from, and thought I did a pretty thorough job of clearing things up, until...Catch Phrase.

Much later in the year, February, in fact, we found ourselves again in the big circle. We were playing the game Catch Phrase. We had been playing for a while, when the Danish girl, Tina, got the game piece in her hand. Her clue was: "Smitty's (me) dad works on one of these..." "A farm" someone calls out without even one moment of hesitation. Tina hits the button and passes the game piece on, indicating a correct answer. I first shake my head in disapproval and disappointment. "Um, guys! My dad does not work on a farm! I thought I cleared this up months ago?" At this point the game has stopped and everyone is just laughing. I think it's a lost cause.