Friday, September 24, 2021

The Hidden Art of the Lollygag.

George comes up to me one morning in the midst of the school and work readying frenzie and says to me, "I just don't get it. Mitch is the first one ready everyday AND he gets to play video games for like 30 minutes every morning. It's like he just wakes up, gets dressed, eats his breakfast and then sits and plays video games until we leave for school."


I say, "Right. That's exactly how it works. He gets up, does all the necessary things without dilly dallying or distraction, then gets more time to do what he wants while still getting out the door on time. What part do you not get, George?"

He sort of looks at me like I'm a crazy person as he fiddles with a cereal box, searching for a pen to do the maze on the back of it, with no shoes or socks on, and says, "I don't get it because I don't dilly dally!? I do the same thing as Mitch, but I don't have the time to play video games!"

And, I just laugh. "Bud, you are literally messing with a cereal box and telling me a whole, long, drawn out story about how you don't get how you don't have the same amount of time as Mitch, INSTEAD of actually just putting on your shoes and socks."

He laughs. "Ugh. Ok! I know! But there are so many more interesting things than just getting ready for school". He says using air quotes and deep change in inflection.

"So, you do get it then?"

I honestly can't offer much advice, as I suffer from the same affliction as George. Lollygagger's Syndrome.

In fact, I'm writing this "just real quick" before I go on a walk then eat lunch then continue planning our 20 year high school reunion then planning our weekend events - including Mitch's 8th birthday party - while also sending in all the meds and finishing all the charts from the morning and fielding texts from work, home, friends and family all during my 2 hour lunch break. (Before you get all amazed at my time management abilities - I WILL NOT accomplish even half of this. Especially, now that I'm typing.) 

Meanwhile, my lovely spouse, Matt is Mitch. I'll head up to bed 20 minutes before Matt with nothing to do but brush my teeth, change into pajamas and go to bed...yet, he ends up in bed with all these tasks completed before me, every time. Every time! I mean, the man simply finishes his routines, functions, projects, etc without distraction. So, I get it George. I really do. 

The thing of it is...I rarely regret my lollygagging. It sometimes {rarely} produces lovely, creative writing pieces. It most often results in plans for a fun weekend or evening. Or brightening someone's day {I hope} because of a silly photo or meme I've passed on to them via text. 

I run into kids, parents, teachers, family alike, and occasionally I'll get a "you won't believe what Mitch did" or a "I have a funny story to tell you about Mitch" or even a "love that kid" comment regarding Mitch. But I almost ALWAYS get these types of comments regarding George. 

Don't get me wrong. Mitch {and Matt} are awesome dudes. I love them more than anything. They offer many, many things that George {and I} do not. I truly could not select a preferred personality type. 

All I know is...for entertainment and procrastination purposes, you want George and I on your side. If you would like to *actually* accomplish your desired goal...bring in the other guys.

And thus, concludes, my somewhat pointless ramblings but chosen afternoon distraction activity for the day.


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