Sunday, March 18, 2012

Pudding and Pie

It's all too appropriate that George is my most Irish looking kiddo. My little, red-headed, leprechaun looking baby turned one month on St. Patty's day. I am still trying to figure out this little guy. He seems pretty serious. He thinks about smiling. He loves my voice and is intrigued by the sound of his siblings - you can see it in his big, alert eyes. For brief moments, I see those huge, inquisitive, bugged Brock eyes. In other instances, I see that completely content, don't care what kind of chaos surrounds me, I am going to just chill out, composure like Curtis. He has an element of distract-ability, but will sleep through ANYTHING...once asleep.

George eats and wakes up every 4 hours like clockwork. We had a few 5-6 hour stretches overnight in the beginning, but those have stopped. Mostly, he eats and falls right back asleep. I have to quit falling asleep with him...nearly every night we spend a good stretch sleeping together in the recliner or bed. It needs to stop, but holding a newborn is just so relaxing, and it's 2 in the morning. He behaves much more like a newborn than his brothers, well, definitely more than Curtis. I think Brock was a struggle there in the beginning - I have already forgotten!

His strength and motor skills seem more like that of a newborn, than Curtis' freakish toddler-like abilities. At one month of age, George is still just under birth weight: 10lbs 6ozs. He kind of doesn't care to eat. And he isn't so great at it, either. His tiny nostrils prevent him from breathing well, so he gasps for air as he gulps. He absolutely refuses to poop, or even fart while remaining latched, so there is that constant interruption. And, feeding him a bottle is just painful. Every time it takes him about 20 minutes to figure out how to suck from the darn thing. So the first 1/2 ounce takes forever, and then bam, the rest is gone (after the pooping intermission).Brock and Curtis LOVE George. Neither of them seemed phased for even a moment from his crying. It doesn't bother them that I walk around holding a baby all day. Brock does not get upset when George's crying interrupts our game or bedtime routine. Curtis cannot give George enough kisses. Or licks, is probably more accurate. And he has started to say "baby". I picked up Brock from Mimi's after school, and when he came to the car to find Curtis and George in there, he exclaimed, "hi brothers!"I feel like maybe George doesn't smile a ton yet like his brothers did, because I have no time to just sit and smile at him. I don't just leave him on the changing table to talk, smile and play with him during each diaper change, because, inevitably, someone or something else needs my immediate attention. At night, when the other two are tucked away, snug as a bug in a rug, I am so tired, I merely just rock George to sleep. Or hold him as I eat or veg out in front of the TV. I am done interacting. It makes those moments when he does make eye contact, and smile, and coo, and talk to me, breath-taking.

It makes me a bit sad I don't have the same time and energy I did for the other two, to share with George. But one thing remains completely consistent between the three of them, my love. I will never get over how much one human can love another. I will never get over the amazement. The joy. I feel busier than ever. And my heart feels fuller than ever. Just like I did with the others, by one month, I can no longer imagine a life without George. And he does have a goofy side, it's just a bit over-shadowed by the constant need to adapt and survive. He completes our family. For now.

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