"I see how much I love him, and I imagine my dad loved me like that one day, and it makes me wish I'd been a better son"
I read this anonymous quote, and it struck a chord. I have thought of this, often. The day Brock was born, I thought of my own parents. I thought, seriously? They loved something THIS MUCH!? Not only something...but ME!? It does not seem possible. I am so flawed. I can think of so many things I did which hurt or disappointed my parents through the years. I think of how little I appreciated them. But then I think of how none of that matters to me, as a mom now, myself. I see it in Matt. These baby boys could do no harm in my eyes. I am proud of their every milestone. I could kiss their cheeks until they are raw. Like my own mother, I will make a birthday dinner for them every year that I am able, or they are available. For their birth, is truly a day I celebrate. And, it's not only me, I see this same awe, love, and reverence in their father. He is just as smitten as I, and these boys will forever be his sons. No matter what they do, or who they become, they are loved by us.
To this day, I am still amazed by the human capacity for love. I'm not sure I will ever get over how much one little person can take over your heart in an instant. And that it can be repeated (soon to be) four times, without dampening the effects even slightly. Though I hope for success, love, happiness, kindness, and virtue from all of my sons, I will never fault them for their mistakes. Perhaps, one day, they will have a son and reflect in the same manner, but I want them to know...they could never be better. In our eyes, they are already THE BEST.