Friday, March 30, 2012


Whenever I see a set of identical twins, I wish I had one. Or even a triplet. The narcissist in me almost feels that I SHOULD have been a triplet. I am convinced I could have done a lot of different things and been incredible at them. The competitor in me wishes I had the ability to prove the thoughts that the narcissist creates. And an identical twin or triplet is the only solution.

I imagine that it would be like having another one of yourself to see what life would be like had you taken a different path or made different decisions. I imagine that my twin would embrace our artistic, creative, right-brained side. Her career would be to own her own little graphic design/paper goods type shop. She'd be a bit skinnier and have tattoos and short hair. She would have gone far, far away for college, and she would have run track or played soccer on scholarship at a Division I school. Her husband would be a musician. Their house adorable and uniquely decorated.

If there were a triplet, the third one would have decided to pursue the academic side. She would have been valedictorian in high school, and gone Ivy League for college. Probably still played a sport, like tennis or badminton. She would continue on and get her PhD in something probably on the sciences side of life, maybe behavioral science and done research for the rest of her life. She probably wouldn't get married due to her intense A-type personality and obsessive tendencies. She would live in a really, really nice loft.

Don't get me wrong. I am in NO WAY disappointed with the choices I have made and the path I have taken. I love where I am, I love being a physician, I LOVE my family. I just want to do TOO many things. I always have. And, most likely, always will. I even have a journal entry from some school assignment in 7th grade where I discuss this exact predicament. In this entry, I am speaking to God, I mention that I have been given so many gifts, abilities and talents, how will I ever know which is the right one to pursue? And all of this is because I am soo competitive, I want to make sure I am picking the path that makes me most successful. Could I have been an Olympian had I chosen a different sport?

Now, I just hope I have passed on some of these gifts, abilities and talents to my kids, and that they choose as wonderful a path as I have in life.

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