Saturday, March 21, 2015

Johnson County

*Pre-edited***** Final post to come.

Johnson county is the __ richest county in the US. Matt has lived there all his life, besides college, and just recently when we crossed the border to the Missouri side. I have only lived there for the past 8 years, but I married a Johnson county man, and have befriended many in the area...therefore, I have guilt by association. There is a stereotype in this region. Basically, that Johnson County people are snob-ish. Prefer name brands, specifically luxury items. I think we all know the type, and I believe as very much qualify as one, in many ways, but I am a Jackson County girl at heart. My family owns a farm. Like a dingy, 100+ year old farm that has never been renovated, and has a well with snakes in it...not like, a brand new, functioning horse farm, or anything of that sort. I am snob-ish for myself, but feel people can do as they please, and I won't judge them for it (most of the time). I preface with this, because what I am about to describe is probably the most Johnson County-type post I have ever made, and I know it. But it has to be said.

It is Spring Break for the boys. Niether Matt nor I took off of work, in fact, Matt traveled out of town for half of it. My sister and Mother-in-law managed to grab a couple of the boys for a couple adventures {thank goodness for them} but I was still feeling as though the boys had been slighted. I suggested at some point that we stay in a hotel or take the boys somewhere special, but had no energy for the follow-thru. Then, in the final days of break, Matt had a surprise for the family! A night at the Holiday Inn and passes to CocoKeys Water Resort. Though happy he had done this, and made this effort, a little part of me sank __. An indoor water park? Are you kidding me!? Crowds. Lines. Filth. Children everywhere. Claustrophobia. I more had in mind some obscure (so that it wasn't crowded), but clean and well kept up hotel with a pool and a breakfast buffet. I kept my opinions to myself, happily prepared for the night, and mentally envisioned the worst situation possible, so that perhaps, the place might exceed my expectations...

When we pulled up and had to circle the parking lot several times for a spot, already, my heart began to sink. So, so, so, so, so, so crowded. Then, as we approached the lobby to find it littered with smokers outside, one being morbidly obese, in her tattered swim suit with wet hair, and choked our way in through the front doors, the inside proved to be just as chaotic. Crowded. And full of, what I felt to be, inappropriately clothed people. I know this hotel is adjacent to a water park, but, still, we are in a lobby. The condition of the hotel seemed a bit worn, but I thought maybe it was just due to the water and crowds. I was still remaining positive. Reserving judgement. Determined to make this a fun adventure for the kids. I made not one remark. Which is remarkable.

We got to our rooms, 350 and 346. We felt those odd numbers to be joining rooms, but what do we know...oh, wait. A lot. We know a lot. And not surprisingly, they were not adjoining rooms. As specifically requested multiple times throughout the reservation process. With four children, 6 and under, non-adjoining rooms is simply not an option. So Matt got on the phone to deal with this, as we sat in the hotel room. Upon walking in, I had immediately noticed that the desk/dresser combo appeared dusty and covered in crumbs, but assumed I was seeing things. Then Curtis, after exploring the closet, came out with a beaded bracelet and Mitch with a torn piece of napkin. Brock picked up what he thought to be a sock someone had left on the floor, and it turned out to be a shoe sole insert! Gross! Seeing as I have to pee every hour, I finally gave in and headed into the restroom. There were hairs as long as mine strewn about the toilet lid. Seat. Floor. Sink. Hmmm....did I black out? I had I already been in here as well as washed, brushed and blow dried my hair? Wait. Even if I had. I'm pregnant. My hair isn't falling out, currently. More and more, my ability to be fine with this whole thing was sputtering out.

Finally, after speaking with 3-4 different people, it was final. There were not adjoining rooms available, and we would be checking out. I can't say I was dissapointed. I can say that at least 3 little boys were. One 18 month old remained clueless. We shuffled back through the disgusting, decrepid, filth and chaos of the hotel, and drove back to our little Brookside neighborhood to enjoy an ice cream cone. And head to bed. Goodnight, CocoKeys. Perhaps, some other time. A little day trip. No hotel.

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