All out WARdrobe.

I'd secretly been planning it for months. Heck, maybe it's even been a year. Scheming. I'd been dropping some hints. Sending some emails. I'm pretty sure the hubs knew it was coming, eventually...but never really when. I had started collecting a small pile. An assortment of colors. But, what began in one season, finally came to fruition in a completely opposite time of year.

Spring. No, Summer. Ok, definitely Fall. Nothing was going to stop me now. Then, it started raining. Raining for days. Not that silly saying, like after Halloween when we say: we have candy for days. Literal DAYS it was raining for...weeks really! Every single weekend was ruined by rain and sports games and even the occasional adult social event.

Then, suddenly, the rain stopped. The kids had a 4 day break. The temperatures approached the 70's at times. The sun shone. The trees!! Those breath-taking, Kansas City fall trees almost seemed to glow in the sunlight. We had mountains of laundry to do, Halloween costumes to assemble, groceries to buy for the impending school and work week. The list of To-Do's just seems to accumulate and never diminish, doesn't it? But, I couldn't handle it anymore. The kids needed showers real bad anyway. (I'm not admitting how long it had been since their last bathing.) That's it! We are getting outside to perhaps the most the beautiful park in the city, just blocks away from us. The children are going to wear those clothes I had been assembling FOR. EVER. And we are simply getting an updated photo of each individual child, as well as the five of them together.

One. One photo of each child. One. One photo of the group. ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

So. I took a deep breath. I briefly, and with no choices presented, prepared the husband for what I was about to do...and then...I did it!

I interrupted the video games. The movies. The fort building. I called all the little ones to attention. And I said, "Guys, we are all taking a shower real quick, then getting dressed to go to Loose Park to take one picture."

KABOOM!!!!! Went the bomb.

They scattered. The oldest in tears, all but actually ran away. The 2 youngest boys rolled on the floor as if they had actually been hit with shrapnel. The second child just shriveled up to die a lonely, sad, pathetic death; it must have been some sort of chemical nuclear warhead for him. And, the girl? Well, bombs apparently don't work on her, because she hopped up and raised her hand saying, "Me!!! Me! Can I shower first!?" (Perhaps, the military should have been full of women?)

After much, non-negotiations. Threats of no Trunk or Treat. No Halloween. No birthdays. No candy ever again. Then the option to stay home, alone. Oh and by the way, no more screens EVER again. Then begging. Explanation over and over about how simple this could be. That if they would just comply we could have this whole process done in under and hour and have time to actually PLAY in the park on this most beautiful day of Fall. Each of them slowly gave in. Showers were had and clothing...well...the clothing nearly killed a few of them.

Three kids would be easier to wrangle and photograph anyway.

I was already writing two of the boys' combined obituary in my head:
      October 28th, 2018 just weeks before his tenth birthday, the oldest son, succumbed to death by wool sweater and leather shoes with no socks. The texture and itchy sensation, as well as the flexibility of the material, making it momentarily difficult to free his hand from the sleeve, were just too much for his feeble mind and body to tolerate. Though attempts were made to allow for socks briefly, or an alternative pair of shoes until the actual photograph was to take place, it was too late.
      In a similar fate, his five year old brother overheated and collapsed due to an additional sweater vest atop his already much too restrictive, collared, button down dress shirt. Shortly, before his untimely death, insult to injury was added when his mother attempted to put on some ill-fitting TOMS...

Addendum to previous release:
...then, in a surprising turn of events, the two boys were begrudgingly resuscitated as the thought of no more screens for eternity acted as a defibrillator and they returned to the awful, torturous life of a child about to be photographed. In nice clothing. On a nice day. In a beautiful park. 

So, on we went. With more crying. More threats. More bribes. Car seat arrangement arguments. And finally, arrival to the park. Where, suddenly, the open air. The freshness. The release from captivity. Whatever the reason, it elated everyone's mood. The children began to venture out and scout for their special "photo spot". They forgot about the clothing on their backs and shoes upon their feet. The worries and cares about holding still for a measly, life-altering, FORTY FIVE SECONDS vanished.

We found a reasonable spot. A nice stone wall, the shade, and maybe a bit of tree and leaves. I arranged the children in what seemed a cute set up. The oldest insisting on choking his two brothers. The girl constantly moving. The oldest then doing some bizarre and incredibly awkward squat-type pose. The 5 year old trying to simply wander off. I frantically jumped up and down, pointed at the lense saying "Look here. Look RIGHT here. Guys, right here. At the camera. Please, look at the camera. Ewwwww! Daddy tooted, P.U. Hey!! The Camera. Right here. Ok, giving daddy bunny ears. Ignore the leaves. Ignore your brother. This could be over if you all would look here RIGHT NOW."

Pedestrians in the park watched the spectacle and smiled. I mean, I'm always willing to entertain, but if I'm so funny, WHY AREN'T THE KIDS {expletive} LOOKING AND SMILING!??

Voila. {At the very least} an hour later, we have our lovely {much left to be desired} photo. Peace has been restored. And we sprint home...

...for another all out WARdrobe change...into costumes.