Monday, September 14, 2009

Can I trade in my A-type personality?

I think I have gotten all the useful mileage out of this personality and would like to trade it in for the B model. I decided this is the only plausible way to achieve all my goals and desires in life; seeing as there are never going to be 33 hours in a day and 10 days in a week.

Perhaps, having a child was the slap in the face that made me realize, time does not slow down. In fact, as the years progress, it is quite the opposite. Nothing will make the days pass faster than a newborn, before you know it, they are walking and having their first birthday. I have to start planning a 1st birthday, and I haven't even finished my wedding photo proof album that I insisted on hand-making by using the left over programs and invites from almost 3 years ago! Simple solution: buy an prefabricated album, you know, the ones with the clear pockets that the photos slide right into? But what is there to be proud of then? Can one really show off their once in a lifetime wedding photos in some run-of-the-mill album and feel OK about that? Yes they can, and that is NORMAL.

There are so many flaws in this personality-type. I want everything done a certain way; my way. And the only way to do something my way is for me to do it. But because I want to do EVERYTHING there is no possible way for me to do it! Ok, so this is getting a bit abstract. For example, I want to needlepoint a stocking for Matt and one for Brock. I am not even halfway with Matt's and I have probably put in 80+ hours working on it in the last 3 years. You do the math (pretty sure I will be finished birthing children by the time I even begin Brock's at this rate). I want to swim with masters, play on an intramural indoor soccer team and golf regularly. I have momentary panic attacks about the fact that I have not scrupulously scrapbooked for every minute event in my life. I get anxious when a year goes by and I have not seen all the newly released movies on my list, how will I ever catch up? I hate a dirty house. I want to plant a garden. I love becoming a physician. I love playing with Brock. I love being a suburban housewife, and I love having my own career. I want 5 children. I want to give my 5 children every opportunity, and be there with them when they take advantage of it. I enjoy pets, and would easily have a menagerie if the time, money and space were available. I love to travel and have a definite list of places I must see before I lose the energy to go across oceans (New Zealand, Greece, Italy, Moscow). I adore my friends and family. I sincerely try to attend every wedding, shower, birthday, party or get together and enjoy these celebrations. I also love having a quiet evening with the hubby. Or an evening of board games (though the fact that I MUST WIN creates some anxiety). I love being in shape, and reading, and having a home-cooked meal.

The list could go on, and these are things I already do in some shape or form. To add to all this, there are many things I still want to learn how to do, and I must be able to do them amazingly or there is no point in attempting: how to sew, how to french braid beautifully, how to write, how to play bridge, how to play the piano proficiently, how to carve a pumpkin, how to tile a bathroom, and I will think of more, just give me a moment...

So, there, you see why the only solution is to trade in the current model, and get one that is satisfied with things as they are, plus maybe a few attainable goals. Doesn't that sound just simple and lovely?

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