Thursday, June 20, 2013

A Potential Man of Steel.

 105 days left to go with 4.O!  Every pregnancy goes faster, and faster.  That first one drags.  I am certain I was pregnant with Brock longer than the other three combined.  Though I feel all the same symptoms, and I sleep nearly sitting up every night, it just doesn't seem as bad.  I guess having been pregnant for 32 of the last 54 months means the discomforts of pregnancy have become somewhat commonplace for me.  I am honestly not sure what "normal" feels like for me anymore.  And, being that once I am finally done breastfeeding this one, I will finally be out of residency and working like a normal person, and almost 6 years older than when I embarked on this whole process of family creating, I don't think my "normal" will be the same "normal" it once was.

There are a few differences I've noticed with this pregnancy. True, I get bored and annoyed answering the questions; when are you due? what are you having? do you think it's a boy or a girl? or any of the other numerous comments, questions, speculations and predictions with every pregnancy, it has started quite early in this one.  I mean, I think I was legitimately pissed the first time anyone asked me one of these back around 18 weeks along!  When people ask, "how are you", I want to give them a genuine answer - which no one wants to hear - and that is, "Not good".  I feel happy, excited, and I just want to be home with my family.  I want to take a long, long break from work as well as maternity leave.  I want to be pregnant, but not aware of it every minute of everyday.  So, quite rubbing it in my face.  All of these thoughts and emotions usually hold off until 30 weeks.  I also miss having a drink and relaxing on the deck, or going to happy hour with friends.  Don't remember this really bothering me in the past.  Maybe my desire to drink is related to the above annoyances.  Or that this schedule, plus 3 pre-existing children, while pregnant, has not been pretty.  Matt has already planted the seed that maybe this kid should be it...not sure he would survive another 5 weeks like the ones we've just made it through. We'll see about that, I am NOT ready to commit to no more kids, but I'm not saying a 5.O is a guarantee either.

Honestly, though, all the rough patches just fade, when I feel those fun, amazing little baby movements.  Matt even likes it now, because he can "feel body parts".  I periodically smile, as I picture delivering another, perfect, wonderful addition to our family.  Already, I cannot imagine life without 4.O, and this baby is not even here, nor does he have a name (if it's a girl, she does.)  I thought 25 weeks would be a good time to compare previous pregnancies (the red tank top is Brock, and I was actually 27 weeks along in that one.)  I see almost no difference between George and 4.O. And in checking the stats from that day, I was up 7lbs.  I am up 8lbs this go (would have been closer to 15, but thanks to my horrendous work schedule I lost 5-6lbs over the past 3 weeks. Yay!)

On a lighter note, if 4.O is a boy, and 5.O is a boy, then the baby I am currently carrying is basically Superman, thus making the name Steele even more appropriate, and therefore going to be really that actor is the second youngest of 5 boys.
Cheers to only 15 weeks, hopefully 14,  to go! 

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