Thursday, November 1, 2012


It's happened.  Man! Has it happened.  I am not sure if it was turning 30, that my oldest is almost 4, the recent sequence of events including but not limited to a bachelorette party I am still recovering from, or the fact that when I see pictures of all my friends and family on Facebook they look old (sorry guys).  But I am a mom.  I am an adult.  Grown up.  Completely, and utterly absorbed by parenthood.  Halloween put the nail in the coffin, on that one {pun intended}.  All I wanted to do (and did) was come home, get my kids dressed, take a few photos and accompany them door to door with an alcoholic beverage in hand, chatting it up with the neighbors as our kids excitedly collected their goods.
We had the opportunity to attend what, judging by photographs, appeared to be a phenomenal Halloween party, hosted by close friends.  These friend's have only one child, expecting number two.  They are still in that attempting to preserve the "old", you know, single-type lifestyle.  The one where you host parties.  You travel.  You go out to eat where ever and when ever you want.  Spontaneity exists. You can still do this with one child, because A.) like MasterCard or Visa, one baby is generally accepted everywhere and B.) if they're not accepted, one baby is easy to dump off, especially onto unsuspecting family members with in a moment's notice.  In hindsight, one baby is incredibly un-interruptive to your social life.  But I didn't want to attend this party.  Partly because it was too exhausting to get ready for a social gathering like that, but mostly because I wanted my kids to experience Halloween like I remember it; traversing the neighborhood, while my dad chatted with our neighbors, standing in the middle of the sidewalk, drinking a beer.   

Even when I had just two kids, I didn't mind spending more of this holiday parading the children around to show off their cute outfits.  We hit up the 3 homes of the grandparents, and rang the doorbell of just a few houses to give Brock the true "Trick or Treat" experience.  He loved it.  I, on the other hand, not real interested.  I would have contemplated attending the awesome Halloween party with just 2 kids.  It would have been way more work than it was worth, but I would have attempted it.  You see, with 2 kids, you can remain in denial that they have completely taken over your life.  If one is acting up, a parent just holds them, walks with them outside, feeds them, while the other parent can still chat it up with friends.  Or eat dinner.  And again, most people can tolerate two children, they are not as widely accepted as one child, but the odds are still in your favor. 

It's the third child.  That 3rd kid is the whopper.  Life has undeniably changed, and will never, ever, EVER be the same.  Now, your options are severely limited.  For example, let's say you take them all out to this party, 2 start acting up, what do you do with the 3rd?  Yup, you rely on someone else to help them.  Suddenly, you are a burden to people.  Social events require a sitter. Or family member presence.  Every time.  And that sitter?  They need advanced notice. Dumping off 3 kids is a bit daunting and rude. They maybe even need support.  Only experienced sitters can watch 3 children under the age of 4 alone. 
The interesting thing about this change, this transformation in lifestyle and attitude?  It is welcomed.  Wonderful.  Absolutely fulfilling.  I enjoyed every minute and every second of our Trick or Treating through the Village.  I loved seeing Brock run into his neighbor friends and immediately tag along with them, door to door, yelling, "Girls! Girls!  Wait for me!"  I beamed with pride at the adorableness of my progeny.  Strangers, stopped to photograph Dr. Curtis.  Matt, who arrived home from work an hour later than me, found us and brought Tater, joining in the fun.  Completing our adorable, happy little family.  I didn't, for one moment, regret missing out on a party where many of my adult friends might be present. In fact, I don't ever miss that old "before children" lifestyle.   The smiles, happiness, giggles, excitement, wonder, and novelty of my very own children meant more to me than anything I have ever experienced.  They are absolutely, completely, 100% my entire world.  And it's the best. Welcome to parenthood.

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