Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The cup spillith over.

I used to read.  I would sneak novels into school, and read them hidden in my desk during class in Junior high and High school.  Wonder if the teachers noticed.  They had to have noticed...they just didn't care, I was being quiet, which was rare.  I got A's.  Who cares.  I'd do this even in college a little bit.  But, by that point, mostly I just didn't go to class if I wasn't going to pay attention.  Somewhere between medical school and three children, I don't read anymore. I skim a few medical journal articles here and there, read my Epocrates, Dynamed, Up to Date and other little snippets from books that tell me how to treat patients. Otherwise, I don't even read these blog posts I am making.  And magazines?  Like fun, interesting magazines?  Do they still print those? No time.

I used to watch movies.  Loved to see them on the big screen.  I averaged at least 3 movies in the theater a month, starting in probably 4th grade.  And more like 7 movies a month with rentals included.  Remember Blockbuster Video? SRO? I even kept a blog listing every movie I'd seen with a one sentence review.  Part of my OCD is list-making.  Senior year of high school, I decided to list every single movie I had ever seen.  A lot of my class got involved; as I passed people in the halls, they might say, "How about 'She's All That', did you get that one!?" I even typed it up, I just found it in the closet that I spent the day organizing this weekend.  There were 813 movies on that list, and some had tally marks next to them, indicating the number of times I'd seen it.  The "infinity" sign was located next to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Dirty Dancing and The Last Unicorn. Guess I couldn't keep track of those three. And, if I remember correctly this was my incomplete list, the updated file got destroyed before I could print it...pretty sure I was near 1,000 when all was said and done.  Again, this was Senior year of high school! Now, I might see a movie in the theater once every 2 months.  And a Redbox and a Netflix in about the same frequency, maybe getting up to one a month.  That makes an average of 2 movies a month now.  No time. No patience.

I used to download music, buy cd's, take an interest in bands.  Go to concerts!  Do people play live still?  I wouldn't know. I generally know what is playing on 96.5 between 5:30-8am and 4:30-8pm. I might even "Shazam" a song so that it will be stored in my phone, in case, on a whim, I decide to update the same playlist of approximately 50 songs that I've been running to for the past 4 years. Or, I buy it simply to make one of my iMovies.  That is all music is to me now.  Background noise.  No time. No patience. No interest.

I used to exercise.  In fact, working out was my livelihood for a while.  I was exercising, on the average, for 6 hours a day!  I did this for nearly 11 years.  I enjoyed it. I still enjoy it.  Would continue to do it today. Unfortunately, exercise requires time and let's not forget, energy.  Both of which, I tend to use for other things these days.  Namely, work and children. And from time to time, husband, friends, family. I still randomly get a run in, here and there.  Or a Jillian Michael work out video.  Or some crunches on my floor that my boys take as an invitation to doggy pile on mommy.  Or just a long nice walk. Or a swim in the Summertime.  No regular work outs, though. No time. No energy. No motivation.

My little sister used the analogy of a cup being too full instead of the usual analogy of I over-filled my plate.  Plates are misleading, if you stack it right, you can keep going forever.  Just ask Matt, he watched the Chinese do this sort of thing at the Pizza Hut buffets. Cups have a clear endpoint as to how much liquid you can pour into them. All my life, I have felt that I do nothing but pour into my glass.  I just pour, and pour, and pour, and pour.  I thought, huh?  I must have a damn big glass. Until recently, it dawned on me, I don't.  I have a very normal size glass.  Ok, maybe it is slightly above average, but either way, it's not endless.  It has a maximum.  A maximum I have hit on many an occasion, and then, it spillith over.  I lose my interest and time for reading, puzzles, movies, music, exercise, laundry, cleaning my house, cooking dinner, etc.  I used to carry the glass around all by myself, but now I pour quite a bit into Matt's cup.  And Kerry, our nanny, absorbs quite a bit.  We hired someone to clean the house.  My in-laws, siblings and parents still take a sip from me on a regular basis, keeping me functional. My glass gets full, so somethings have to go, and they just trickle away.  I don't even notice.  Or miss these things either.  I have replaced them with liquid much more valuable.  I think my glass is nearly full of gold. That is why, despite how my cup spillith over, I am quite happy. I guess that's what one calls a "well-balanced life".

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