Recently, a friend of mine joked, and asked if she could be my sister wife. Not that she finds Matt overly attractive. Or that she enjoys my presence so much that she'd like to live with me. It's because she recognizes that of the many, many stressors in my life, my marriage is not one of them. In fact, I believe she sees that my relationship is why I can do what I do on a daily basis.
Tonight, when I walked into the office I caught Matt in the act of writing on our new whiteboard family calendar (which just yesterday he had vehemently insisted was a ridiculous item as "this is the 21st Century, we can sync our schedules on our iPhones" thereby stating he would not be writing his appointments on it). I see him admiring his work, call him out on it, and he just turns to me and says in disbelief, "It's been almost 12 years since we started dating". Not only was he writing on this silly calendar of mine, but he was doing so to add our 12 year dating anniversary and our 6 year wedding anniversary. Two dates I completely forgot. I remembered Bunko, George's birthday, Valentine's day, but I forgot our anniversaries.
That man gets me. I continued to make fun of him, trying to force him to admit he enjoyed writing on the calendar. He just smiled. He just shrugged as I explained to him that I appreciate the effort, but he used the wrong color marker for his photo appointment. In his head, he's thinking "whatever, Erin, it doesn't matter" but he will try to abide by my neurotic ways. It's just easier that way. For everyone.
Everyday, we have moments like the calendar. Everyday, we could choose to argue over the little things. But everyday, we choose to find each others nuances funny. Cute. Unique. Part of the attraction. I am not saying we don't fight, or have disagreements. I'm just saying they are mostly futile when they happen, because we both know that ultimately we will do for the other whatever makes them happiest. Love is selfless.
And, after all. If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.