A colleague of mine says to me the other day, "Just tell me, O'Laughlin, you have days you want to rip your hair out, and wonder why the hell it is you decided to have kids. You have to." I know he really wanted me to admit that my laid back, non stressed demeanor was all a facade. That, the amusing little anecdotes which I incessantly force upon my co-workers are actually a rarity, and more often, the little guys annoy the $*%t out of me. And having always been told it's not proper to be arrogant, I tried as I might to just nod, and say, "Sure, I have those days." Kind of. But not really "days", so much as transient moments. I have always been plagued with this mentality, where, unless I am actually in the moment of frustration, I forget it ever existed.
I clearly remember, way back in high school, when one of my Blazer teammates got incredibly pissed at me for saying, "I have never been burnt out or wanted to quit." She absolutely did not believe that it could be possible for one to put them self through hell on a daily basis: working out 3-6 hours a day, waking up at 4:10am, missing out on social events ever-so-important to a teenager, without wanting to quit at some point. But, I'm just not that extreme. I have a bad practice, and that's it, a bad practice. Tomorrow's a new day. It will be better. Perhaps, despite my cynicism, I am the eternal optimist. I often find myself in similar situations with my girlfriend's. When they might be venting about their significant others annoying habits, I can rarely contribute. Only if Matt literally just did something that got me a bit fired up, can I even come up with something to say. I forget those moments of irritation, because I don't care for them. They don't make me happy, nor my life richer. I take from them what I need, and move on, so that I am truly happy on a daily basis. It's not a facade.
So, in response to his question, I agreed. Yes, I believe, there are moments that I want to rip my hair out. There are moments that I want a break, to relax, to not have someone beside me requiring my constant attention, help, nurturing. But if these moments are truly intense, I find a way to get a break. Usually, the culprit is "hanger" (hunger + anger, get it!?) I just need to eat, or sleep and voila, the frustration is forgotten. Another way I avoid getting too upset, is by viewing the situation as comical. More often than wanting to rip my hair out, I am just laughing at my little drama kings, or trouble-makers, or tantrum throwers. I mean, how can you not laugh at 3 boys, 4 and under all crying at the same time. About nothing.