15 and growing.

The five week bump pictures have begun! Consistently, fifteen weeks is the point in my pregnancies that I suddenly get excited, impatient, obsessed. Don't get me wrong, there is no moment more exciting nor happier than the moment I see that positive test. But that new excitement quickly gets replaced with survival mode as those first trimester symptoms creep in and peak. Now, I am no longer paralyzed by exhaustion and 24/7 nausea. I can feel a baby bump and some baby flutters. Though I have experienced all this thrice before, it does not cease to amaze. The anticipation stays strong. The nerves remain. As healthy and wonderful as my previous boys were/are, with their relatively smooth pregnancy courses and deliveries, I do not take this process for-granted. I never will.

Pregnancy is dangerous. Dangerous to 2 lives. It doesn't come easy to everyone, people go great lengths to get pregnant. Stay pregnant. Deliver their infant safely. I know I have been lucky. I really do. I know it's a true blessing and gift. I will always feel this way and remember what a treasure every pregnancy, birth and child truly is. So, when I complain about the indigestion, sleepless nights, restless legs, I am not forgetting what a special process I am privileged to be experiencing. In fact, I take these as little, constant reminders that I am lucky enough to be creating a new, cute, happy member of my family, of society.

I cannot wait to meet him (or her, ha!! Fat chance.) I can't wait to feel the kicks from the outside not just from within. I think this one will have brown hair and eyes, at the very least. We cannot continue to defy ALL statistical odds. I wonder what name we will choose. Brock cant wait for baby 4.O's arrival either. Every time we drive by Shawnee Mission hospital, he asks if we can "stop and get our baby?" Childbirth must be a very confusing thing to a 2-4 year old. All he knows is that I walk around for a while with a baby in my belly, then one day he is brought to that hospital and TA DA! He has a new baby brother. When he was two, he checked my mouth, as if Curtis might have come out of there. And I am predicting September 29th for the birthday...if I chicken out of being induced, like I always do, otherwise, it's the 26th. The reason for induction being, I'd rather not have a 12 pounder (seeing as all my children have been a pound bigger than the one previous, and George was 10lbs 7ozs, SIX DAYS early, and babies grow a half a pound a week, you do the math.) Especially, if by some bizarre chance it's a girl, I feel she shouldn't be ginormous. Though, I don't foresee Matt and I producing dainty spawn, female or not.

Lastly, in this photo, I am wearing the same outfit as my fifteen week shots for Brock and Curtis and George kind of, it's the wrong shirt. It still fits! I'd be lying if I said it wasn't snug. I am probably 10 pounds up from this same point in those pregnancies (but still down 2 pounds from the start of this pregnancy.) Goal: to gain zero weight by 20 weeks. And a total of 12lbs for the entire pregnancy (thus making my final weight less, than any of the previous 3!) Don't worry, I won't starve myself, I plan to do this by eating healthier.  And let's face it, the kiddos obviously don't hurt for calories themselves.  The most I have ever gained in any pregnancy is 26lbs, so my goal is only cutting it in half.  Now, if I could just get through this FINAL call month as a second year, I'd say we're all good.