The Senior Slide

For those of you who know me, and I mean, REALLY know me, you know that I have basically been on "the senior slide" since I figured out how to read in pre-kindergarten. And even then, I only wanted to go to school for those 20 minutes of storytime. So, one could imagine how I am adjusting to the last few months, after submitting my last important item, of the last leg in my 28 year educational conquest. I am pretty sure I have finally fallen off the end and hit the wood (now rubber, because heaven forbid a child might get a splinter or something) chips at bottom of my slide. I am done. I am ready to begin learning, specifically, how to be the doctor I want to be for the rest of my life. Just 2 more months of rotations. Thank goodness I have had significant practice in the art of slacking off.

I tend to spend more time trying to figure out how I can "slack off" than I do actually studying and preparing. Though, in my defense, I prefer to call it efficiency seeking. I want to be a competent physician, so really, I just spend a lot of time figuring out what rotations will provide me with the most and best experience in the least amount of time. I am not one that can sanely follow a physician around for 10 hours a day just to be a fly on the wall. Though, in college, I did once ask for class suggestions with these criteria: 1.) I didn't have to show up; 2.) I didn't have to study; and 3.) I could still get an 'A'. That might qualify as slacking off...

You can also look at it another way. I am assertive. I know what I want. I also know how to get there. I despise menial hoops that I must jump through to get from point A to point B. Therefore, if I must do something pointless, I am not going to spend a lot of time and energy doing it. I'd much rather put that time and energy into figuring out if there is a way I can avoid these hoops completely, or at the very least just crawl through them. And, at this point, these hoops don't even affect my outcome...consider me unmotivated.

I think these last days of my cardiology rotation are pushing me near depression. I don't want to get out of bed. I sit in my car in the parking lot of the hospital and check my phone 5 or 6 times, hoping I get a call or text informing me that my children are sick and that I need to go home. I am racking my brain to come up with appointments I need to make during the day to cut my (already ridiculously easy) schedule short. The sad part? I am on rotation with one of, if not the most caring, wonderful, amazing physician I have followed in the last 2 years. He is awesome. He only makes me join him for inpatients. I arrive after 9am and am done by 2pm everyday. And, he is located right by Legends outlet shopping center, what more could you ask for!?

I guess it's just physics though. When you've been on a slide your entire life, you are bound to hit bottom. I am just glad I am there, I am ready to get up and move on to the next phase. Though, this time, I think I am going to go for the swings.{Oh, and I am sure these boys provide no distraction, whatsoever.}