Matt and I are planners. We pride ourselves in making decisions, sticking to them, and being successful. Sometimes, maybe even too much. Hey, it's how we be. But, I can tell you this much, Baby #3, was not planned. And I LOVE it! I kind of feel like a rebel right now. I mean, how sad is that? A third child, that we have always known we wanted, is arriving a year early, and that is as crazy as we get!?
The whirlwind of emotions began on the toilet. I peed on a stick, and watched, and of course hoped to see that extra line (I don't know about you ladies, but every single time I have EVER taken a pregnancy test, I have always secretly, if not openly, hoped it would be positive. Every time.) Then, when it actually did start appearing, I of course had to reread the instructions for the millionth time to make sure I was seeing things right. This whole time, trying to contain a giant smile.
I walk out of the bathroom, still trying not to grin, to hand Matt the test. "What do you see?" Mind you, he had no clue I was taking a test or suspecting a pregnancy. And he, ever so calmly, says, "Huh.? Well, I don't know what it looked like to begin with..." Let me clue you in, the same as every other pregnancy test in the world: blank. And that is that for a moment.
Then the moment of panic. Though, really I wasn't panicked, I would say it was more like shame or a feeling of complete irresponsibility. Who am I to preach that I know all about the birds and the bees, blah, blah, blah? Obviously, I don't heed my own advice. I dislike being a hypocrite. This phase, however, is very short-lived, and overshadowed by sheer excitement.
We get to have another baby! A bonus baby! I have been fretting over the timing for number three, and my questions have been answered. This is so fun. It is a complete shock, and the best kind of surprise you can ever receive. I am just beaming. I want to tell everyone and anyone that I am with child. It helps too, that I have minimal to no truly awful symptoms yet. But I also don't know, for sure, how far along I am. I have a very good "educated guess", and that is a due date of February 21st.
When I recently asked Matt if he was ok with it. He replied, with such sincerity, "Erin, I love those 2 boys more than anything in the world, and they make me so happy. I get to increase my love and happiness by 50%. So, yes, I am OK with it."
Perhaps 2011 isn't so bad afterall (though the baby will be born in 2012, and all of the remaining 2011 will be filled with pregnancy, so...??)