Pseudocyesis is the medical term for a false pregnancy. Pseudocyesis can cause many of the signs and symptoms of pregnancy, and often resembles the condition in every way except for the presence of a fetus. And I took probably a dozen pregnancy tests after I had Brock because of it. Something smelled bad. Test. I felt nauseous. Test. I was extra tired one afternoon. Test. You catch my drift.
So, with Curtis, I vowed to not be psychotic and to significantly reduce my number of pregnancy tests. I must admit, it's been really hard:
Recently, I have been feeling intensely scatter-brained. But that nearly always happens to me in the Summer. I think long breaks from school make me feel stupid. So nothing to worry about.
And the transient moments of vertigo and light-headedness, is most likely due to an increase in exercise, increase in sun time, inadequate hydration and decrease in calories for my crash Miami diet.
Then, my face randomly broke out a month or so ago, and has stayed that way. I mentioned to Matt that "if I didn't know better, I would say this is first trimester skin" as I just don't get pimples. Obvious explanation though, I have started weaning Curtis and therefore about to resume my monthly cycle. Fertility here I come.
And the last 3 nights, when I awoke up from deep slumber at about 2am feeling like I was going to vomit, I immediately regreted the 4 Boulevard Wheats or the large tub of popcorn with jalepenos from earlier in the night - that kind of binge eating or drinking just does not make you feel right.
And when I was shopping in Target and wanted to buy V8 and colby jack cheese, the staples of my diet the first 15 weeks with Brock. I thought, this is because I am trying to diet, and these are easy, low cal/high nutrient snacks.
Then, when I randomly had a huge fever blister pop up on my back, as it has done at some point during both my previous pregnancies, I explained it away as my sun burn. Must have irritated a nerve.
So, this afternoon, when I finally gave in to a rare fit of exhaustion, and proceeded to be woken from my nap by an extremely vivid dream, I realized I couldn't continue driving myself nuts like this. I just need to take a test for goodness sake. Pseudocyesis or not. The dream consisted of me expressing my disbelief that "Aunt Flo" had not yet visited since Curtis was down to nursing only once a day! And EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the dream told me that is was probably because I was pregnant. My mother forced me to take a pregnancy test in the dream...and it was positive. Therefore, I woke up, went straight to the medicine closet, peed on a stick, and there you have it. Baby O'Laughlin #3. Due date: Unknown.
Oh, and 6 hours later, test number two...still positive.