Generally, I am always of the mindset that the past year was the best of my life, and that the next will be even better. Life just always seems to be advancing in a positive direction. This past year is the first time in my 29 years of life, that I am not so sure I feel that way. There might be a chance that 2010 surpasses 2011 in the enjoyment department. No doubt, this has been the most life-changing, volatile, year to date. Koyaanisqatsi, means "life out of balance" in the Hopi language. For me, it means 2011.
Back at the very end of 2010, when I found out that I had failed Step 2 of boards, I said to Matt, "Crap, this is not good, our Karma has flipped. I am not going to match for residency." A statement for which he just rolled his eyes and got mad at me for even saying. But I could just feel it. I could sense a negative energy, this lingering sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, which is something I have never experienced. Perhaps I just lost a bit of naivety, either way, it wasn't good. Then, in February, right before the match, Matt was laid off. I wasn't going to say I told you so at that point, but I thought it. Then I didn't match. So, I said, "I told you so." Then our perfectly healthy, wonderful boxer, Tali, suddenly died. Matt had no job for 5 months. We had no income for 5 months.
Two, slight positives arose from this 5 month hiatus. Matt was able to amp up his photography business and skills. And he/we got to have our boys home from daycare! Lots more family time. I am very grateful to have had all that time with all of my boys home. And, despite not matching in OB/Gyn, I did scramble into a Family Medicine program in Kansas City, full of great people.
I can't forget the greatest gift of 2011, Baby O #3...though, I was mainly sick and uncomfortable, and extra tired because of this gift. It will give us true happiness in 2012, when baby arrives. So, does it count on the good end of 2011? I am not so sure. But, let me just say, thank goodness for the month of June! After coming home from Vegas (where we won money), Matt got a job! And I found out we were pregnant with #3.
Then July. The start of residency. While pregnant. With 2 kids, 2 dogs, and a financial mess to sort out for the rest of the year. These past 6 months have taken a lot of planning, energy, time, money, stress, and love to get through. But we got through them. Really, no worse for the wear. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger? 2011 has made us O's into solid iron then.
I just can't say enough about my wonderful family. Starting with my husband. Despite the strain on our life, there really was no strain on our marriage. We deal with things as a unit. We don't blame one another for anything. We just work together and figure things out as we go. But I can't say we could do it so easily and well without the rest of that big family unit. My parents, his parents, our siblings; someone is always happily available. Just a phone call away. They give us random nights to go to dinner together. They help us with dinner, laundry, carpooling, entertainment. They reassure us that we can get through anything. We relied on family a lot this year.Now, I can safely say, everything feels back in balance. I slept for nearly 8 hours last night. Matt is installing an above the range microwave, as we speak. (Which is something I have wanted since moving into this house-more counter space!). My best friend had a healthy baby last night! I have 53 days for before we welcome addition #3. I have only 9 days left of my last REALLY hard rotation before baby joins us. Matt is getting a promotion. We are financially stable again (until we start paying daycare for 3 kiddos, gross). We have a cleaning lady. We are in the market for a new car. And a nanny. We can again start getting excited about future plans. House renovations, vacations, babies, fun. We can just enjoy one another's company and feel secure that it is all going to be alright. 2012, I have no doubt, will be the best year yet. Karma has again chosen our side.