Monday, October 8, 2012

Nasty. No joke. Insanity.

As we sat in clinic, typing away at orders for our patients, a nurse walks in carrying what appears to be an empty urine sample container. She says, "Anyone know what kind of bug this is? They are all over a patient." And she unscrews the lid as we all peer into the cup. What!? They are ALL OVER a patient!? What exactly do you mean by that? How can bugs be all over a patient? Bugs don't LIVE on patients, unless they are scabies. And those burrow into the skin. Or ticks. And we all know what those look like, and they don't generally crawl around, they are kind of know for being stationary. Also, at this point, I don't know if I am more shocked by the nurse's statement, or the lack of reaction by my fellow residents. Everyone just takes a look and acts as though this is a routine diagnosis. After we all decide that we have no clue what kind of insect that small, pea size, beetle/maybe winged insect thing is by appearance, one resident suggest we "do the taste test." So disgusting. Seriously, gross. (I literally just shivered, while writing and remembering this moment - Matt asked if I was doing ok.) I mean, it's true, this really isn't all that surprising, considering our patient population, but I am still flabbergasted. Appalled. Confused. Exceedingly thankful that I am not the resident responsible for seeing said patient.

Eventually, the resident comes back from interviewing, and PHYSICALLY examining the patient! Yes, she, to some extent, touched that patient. And the verdict came in, they were baby roaches! As in Cockroaches. Climbing and living on a human being. I couldn't believe it, I just couldn't. I insisted it wasn't true, only to be told by the reliable resident herself, that she, personally witness 3 small roaches run over the patients shoulder, across her collarbone and descend into her cleavage. Ugh. *chills* I begin ranting. "Take a shower. Change your clothes. Is it really that difficult!? How can you live like that? I am so confused. So confused." I continued to get the chills, and shiver, and itch, periodically throughout the rest of clinic that afternoon. In fact, right now, I can feel little buggies crawling up my leg, or running under my armpit. I might have to shower now. Though this is not what I signed up for when I decided to be a doctor, patients like these never cease to surprise, amaze, confuse and inspire me. As in, inspire me to shower more frequently. Appreciate my clean home. And love my family, mental health and social status.

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