Don't Worry. Be Happy.

As a parent, you worry.  It's unavoidable, absolutely.  I can attest to this, because I am in no way a worrier.  I may panic (probably due to the fact that I never worry. Therefore, when a stressful event like a test, or swim meet finally approached, it would suddenly dawn on me, crap, maybe I'm not prepared!?) But I don't worry.  Until these kids existed, that is.  And Brock, with his stubbornedd and neurosis, is no exception.  He gets so obsessed with things, I have to bribe him to do fun stuff!  Just the other day, while at a parade, he got offered a pony ride, but he wanted a sucker.  His little brain cannot comprehend that he can both ride the pony AND have a sucker.  I imagine his mind to be saying, "sucker, sucker, sucker, sucker, sucker, I want a sucker, where's a sucker, sucker sucker."  I had to tell him he could have 2 suckers if he rides the pony.

Why not let him miss out, you wonder?  Well, when he can't come up with a good reason as to why he doesn't want to do something, or try something, he decides it's because he is scared.  And with his elephant-like memory, these things turn into true fears.  He remembers the situation. He remembers there was a pony, and he didn't want to ride it, therefore, he must be afriad.  He does not remember that he didn't ride it because he was too busy obsessing about suckers.  So, he got on the horse, and probably only enjoyed the ride half as much as he would have, due to concentrating so hard on trying not to smile.  Damnit, his parents were right.  That was fun.

Brock is in pre-school now, for a half day on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. He LOVES school.  Loves it.  I love it, because he loves it.  Summer is rough for a kid who wants to know and understand the entire world, how it works, how to fix it.  I've said it since he was born, Brock thrives off stimulation. Think he will be an over-commited adult, like his mommy?  Anyway, I attended "Back to school night" of sorts a few days ago.  I could not wait to hear from someone who has seen, worked with, and taught 3.5 year olds nearly as long as I've been alive. Miss Mary taught a couple of Matt's brothers in preschool at St. Ann's as well.  If anything can quench a parent's worry about the behavior, progress and social skills of their child, it's an experienced teacher. She seemed ambivalent.  According to her, Brock is not doing anything out of the ordinary for a three year old, and participating well in class.  So, for now, I can rest assure that Brock is not a trouble-maker in Miss Mary's eyes.  In fact, she said that he is part of the threesome that LOVES the cars, trains and trucks.

While in the classroom, I was scouting the room for "Alex".  When Brock comes home from school, he will admit to having only one friend, "Alex".  I thought maybe he just remembered this kid's name because it is the same as his cousin, Alexander.  I thought, surely he plays with more than one child.  There are no nametags, so I have to just listen to the mom's say their kiddo's name.  I couldn't find him.  Maybe Alex didn't show up.  In my observant stalking of all the children, I noticed this one kid.  He was the only one taller than Brock.  He had shaggy hair like Brock, only blonder.  He was dressed nearly identical with loafers, shorts, a sweater and a polo (though Brock was a bit more casual in a sweatshirt instead) and most of it from Gap; the two frat boys of the classroom.  I just couldn't help but notice this kid, he stood out to me, probably because of the many similarities between him and Brock.  The two of them easily looked a year older than the rest of the class.  The only difference between the two, is that this boy was clearly extroverted, while Brock tended to himself.

We are packing up to leave, and finally, I hear, "OK, let's go Alex."  I immediately turn my head, to find that Alex is Brock's bigger, slightly frat-ier classmate!  Of course, it is.  I go up to his mother and say, "So, this is Alex, apparently, he is Brock's only friend."  And she smiles, and exclaims, "And you're Brock's mom!? Alex talks about him nonstop."  We go on to chat for a while, finding out that we know a few mutual people, and that we both went to IU and graduated the same year!  What was in that water!?  Seriously, we all create huge, beautiful boys. Maybe, this is Indiana's way of finally having a good football team, they found some genetic secret and infused us all; look out, in 17 years we will dominate.  And speaking of dominating, let's hope these 2 big boys remain sweet, and innocent.  I no longer worry about him socializing, I worry about him becoming the bully.  In short, the night wiped away some of my worries, but created others.  The cycle never ends.