Adorable.

Brock's sitter, Zia, asked that we send our kiddo in his Halloween costume today. So, we threw some scrubs on him, seeing as he is going to be a surgeon for the holiday. When I picked him up decked out in my own blue scrubs, she couldn't get over how adorable the 2 of us were...thus making a photo of the 2 of us in blue surgical scrubs a "must have". I don't care what Brock does when he grows up, but it sure would make mommy proud to have him follow in my footsteps.

On another Brock note. Though he can speak plenty, I feel he might end up like his father: a man of few words. When we pulled in the driveway this afternoon, I shut off the engine. Brock immediately yelled, "keys!? keys!?" So, I handed him the keys. He then suggested, "out?" So, I let him out of his carseat. He lept into the driver's seat, sorted thru the keys until he decided on one, then began inspecting the ignition. I opened the passenger-side door, to remove my purse and jacket, only to have him insistenly pat the passenger seat, as if to say, "get in and sit right here". So, I complied. He then stuck the key partway into the ignition, and began turning the steering wheel! He was taking me for a ride. Don't worry though, he paused from navigating for a moment to pull down the visor, open the mirror, and adjust his hair. I don't think I do that very often, and I REALLY don't think Matt does...

On a side note: I am 39 weeks today, and still preggers! I have been asking the baby to wait until today all along, and he/she so kindly complied. Now, it's open season. I REALLY prefer to give the baby an opportunity to join us on its own terms, but will be forced to intervene if 2.O takes much longer than the expected due date. Only because I am confident I can deliver a 9+ pounder, but 10lbs might be pushing it (no pun intended).

Though I have been told I have a "cervix of steel" (TMI?), I am confident (hopeful) that the baby will, in fact, arrive right on time. I feel a ton of pressure, my Braxton Hicks contractions are getting increasingly more frequent and uncomfortable, and I went into labor with Brock with these signs or fewer. So we shall see. Only time will tell.

PS- We still have no idea what to name a boy...suggestions are welcomed!!!

The game called: life.

A second ago, I almost changed my facebook status to read: I am really good at the game of life.

I think I have discovered the secret to life! This secret is...are you ready?

Make a decision, and stick to it.

Just think for a moment what that statement means. When I think to all of the times I have been down in the dumps, or observed a friend or family member down and out, what these situations all have in common is dwelling in the past/regretting a decision. If it truly was the wrong decision, than fix it dear Henry. But if it wasn't, get over it and move on with life.

I am in no way implying that I have made all the RIGHT decisions. Absolutely, I have not. But I have stuck to every one of them, without reserve, and because of this, I am happy, successful, and always looking forward to my next crossroads. Cheers!

*After writing this, I realized I can never fully express what I am trying to say, so here are some quotes that capture my thoughts:

• “The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure , the process is its own reward.” -Amelia Earhart

• “Your decision to be, have and do something out of ordinary entails facing difficulties that are out of the ordinary as well. Sometimes your greatest asset is simply your ability to stay with it longer than anyone else.” -Brian Tracy
  

• “It is not always what we know or analyzed before we make a decision that makes it a great decision. It is what we do after we make the decision to implement and execute it that makes it a good decision.” -William Pollard
  

• “Decisions, particularly important ones, have always made me sleepy, perhaps because I know that I will have to make them by instinct, and thinking things out is only what other people tell me I should do” -Lillian Hellman

• “All my life, whenever it comes time to make a decision, I make it and forget about it” -Harry S Truman
  

Utter Chaos

You can call it "nesting" if you insist on that awful, inaccurate, non-real term, but I call it preparation. Just like the week or two before a huge exam, or the week or two before a huge competition, you don't just sit around and wait for that day to happen and hope all goes well...you prepare, practice, get anxious and excited for everything to be and go perfect. So, here I am, sitting at 2 weeks before the estimated arrival of our little baby 2.O, and what have I done? Nothing. Therefore, I feel it very appropriate that I feel the sudden need to get things organized - or at least some clothes washed for the new one.

The only problem with this sudden desire of mine to get our house out of disarray, is that neither Matt, nor I, currently have the time needed to devote solely to this endeavor. Matt is working 10+ hour days. He has weddings to shoot, which take all day on Saturdays. I have to spend a lot of my free time studying for an exam that I MUST pass at the end of November. And on top of this lack of time, I have a complete lack of energy. Waking up at 5:19am and getting home between 4 and 6pm, delivering babies and seeing patients all day, while 38 weeks pregnant, has kind of taken it out of me. Shocking, I know. Then, in the middle of all of this, is poor little Brock who rarely sees both his parents at once, if at all. (Though he absolutely doesn't seem to mind - he loves his grandparents, aunts, uncles and Zia!) So, any little iota of "free time" I get, involves playing with my son; not laundry, not cleaning, not organizing, but going to the park, or to the Pumpkin Patch, or just a simple walk up the block.Things just feel especially hectic. I think the chaos is obvious when one has to pencil in simple things, such as going to the grocery store, Target, Costco or the pharmacy. Everyday, I sit for a moment and try to remember all the things I know I am forgetting, like bills, school paperwork, does Brock even own a pair of sweat pants, have I eaten today? The "baby brain" adds an extra level of difficulty to this task.

We are just so busy, it really has not sunk in that there will be a newborn living here soon. I mean, 2.O could arrive tonight! I think it will all slow down and fall into place once I finish up with my rotation next week. Even though I have to diligently study while caring for a newby, I will be home all day, everyday, for a month. I just have to keep reminding myself, one day at a time. Breath.

Camera Shy

Did you notice anything funny about this clip?

On my phone, you can record video while looking at it, Brock loves it. There were cuter, videos, with Brock actually speaking, but his father recorded them sideways...

...and when I say "speaking", I mean it. Today, Matt sneezed and Brock very clearly said, "Bless you". He also enjoys listing everybody he knows, these people usually include the parents, grandparents, daycare family, and, the dogs. "Taties" being his most commonly used word (our nickname for Tater.) He talks an awful lot about choo-choo's, which sounds like shoe-shoe. And, unfortunately he points out every truck, because his 'tr' sounds quite a bit like 'ph'. He can finally specify food and drink by name (for the essentials, you know milk, juice, cookie, pickle, hot dog, cheese, fruit snack...). And when he runs to the cabinet and points, apparently we would go item by item, asking, "these?" because now he thinks all other food is "these".

Lately, he has begun pointing to my belly and saying "baby", and randomly lifting my shirt to give the baby kisses. We never promoted this, he kind of came up with it on his own! Strange how kids know they are supposed to kiss things they love, and that he already loves his baby sibling. All along, I really didn't think he understood what was happening, but now I know he is aware that there is a baby.

I am really looking forward to spending more time with Brock during the next couple months. He will not be going to daycare because I have all of November off, and a light schedule in December. Though, being a toddler, he can have frustrating moments, overall, he is an absolute joy. Toddlers are fairly simple, their world is black and white. They either want something, or they don't, and they are just lacking the maturity to give a simple yes or no. The world would be a much simpler place if we all were a bit more infantile, yes or no, the only options. I digress. That child is hilarious. He cracks us up, as well as himself. One time, while I was carrying him, he tooted, and laughed! Who taught him that was funny?? Boys.

Season Over.

Yet another wedding season ends. Thank goodness - squeezing into a dress is not so easy anymore (as if it ever was). Originally, I thought that this would be our last year with wedding invites being in the double digits...but lately, it looks like 2011 is panning out to be quite a big year. Only time will tell.

Emily and Brad Griffith
October 9th, 2010
Indiana Hills Country Club

Emily and Brad's ceremony contained a few unique elements, including a love letter and and opera solo. We then headed over to Indian Hills to enjoy cocktail hour in the perfect weather that graced the 9th. I did wear heels, which was probably a poor decision, but I can't really stand for long periods of time anyway - so I looked at heels and pregnancy as a good double excuse to sit down for most of the night. And, what else do you wear with a formal dress??

The speeches were great. The food was good. The music was hit and miss. But, most of all the company was grand. Everyone was just, plain happy. Congrats, Emily and Brad!!

Oh, AND more babies!

I almost started this sentence saying, "and the last 2 baby showers of the year"...but I realized I may have a couple more to attend. So, I will just say, I had the pleasure of attending a shower for Vanessa and Joe, Matt's cousins. They are expecting just a week before yours truly - a Halloween baby, perhaps!? It was a nice, relaxing get together with some phenomenal homemade cheesecake for dessert - I am sure Vanessa finds other parts of the day more memorable, but for me, the cheesecake was it.

The other shower was for my ex-BFF, Whitney 'Kuechler' Arthur. I say "ex" because our friendship probably reached its' prime sometime between 2nd and 6th grade. During these years, we dominated Visitation athletics, played with Breyer horses from sun-up to sundown, ate a lot of Oreos and Spaghetti-O's, watched either the Man from Snowy River or Wild Hearts Can't be Broken no less than 75 times, tortured our little sisters (and vice versa), biked, roller-bladed, rode horses and spent the night at one another's house nearly every weekend. Not unfrequently, we were asked if we were twins. We never truly "broke-up", I just became a psychotic swimmer, and she an avid soccer player - we stayed friends, made new friends and went on with our merry lives. So, needless to say, we did not marry twins, and we don't live on the same plot of land with a shared horse farm in between, but we have always made time for lunch at Taco Via (and we still share the same appetite).

I would like to add, that Whitney and I both married our high school sweethearts from Rockhurst. Both of our husbands come from all boy families, while we both have 2 sisters and 2 brothers. We both have 2 dogs. We both played college athletics, and are both pursueing careers in the health profession. We are both having early November babies (though this is her first) and we both have August birthdays. Leo's rock! So, even if we tried to not be friends - I don't think that fate would let it happen.

Anyway, congrats Whitney! And Shae, Kaitlin, Liz and Heather, did a beautiful job on the shower decor, food and games (except for that burnt tostada soup...)

Pickles and Ice Cream

Yes. Last night, I did indeed eat some pickles, then later some ice cream. I did not want them together, I just thought a pickle sounded good, and I had been planning on eating the ice cream all day...

Also, last night, after a long, exhausting, wonderful week at Truman Medical Center doing high risk obstetrics, nothing sounded better than some food and a bed. Unfortunately for me, neither of these things are a simple task. As it were, I broke my rules, and ate dinner - then some pickles and then some ice cream - well after 7pm (in my defense I kind of thought I would be up past 10:30pm). And being so exhausted, I fairly quickly fell asleep, despite the pain in my hips and pelvis and the raging restless legs; only to wake up 2 hours later due to some reflux, so extensive that I rushed to the bathroom and...I'll spare you the details. But it left me to ponder: does it still stand that I ate pickles and ice cream if they didn't really make through the whole digestive process? I kind of don't think so.

I feel, comparatively speaking, I have maintained quite the positive attitude about all the little discomforts (ha! "little") that pregnancy provides, but at 36 weeks, I am being tested. I restarted the vomiting at 27 weeks with Brock - I made it to 36 with 2.O! Thanks to pharmaceuticals the upchuck count has been way down this go 'round. The sleeping situation has become increasingly worse, which is quite unfortunate, as I am having to be at TMC not later than 6am. On the bright side, I have gotten to see the baby 3 times in the last 3 weeks! The residents practiced some of their sonogram-ing skills on 2.O and have been quite impressed with the health (and size, uh oh) of the baby. Every time I see that little face, reality strikes and I get really excited that [kind of] anyday now I could get to meet our little, bitty bundle! Then, the next pang of reality strikes, and I realize 2 things: we have not picked a name for a boy and I have done NOTHING to prepare for this child. Seriously, nothing. The clothes are packed away somewhere in the basement. The sheet for the bassinet/pack n' play that Baby 2.O will spend its' first few weeks in has been lost for quite sometime...probably should buy and wash a new one. Speaking of wash, have to buy some of that newborn detergent. And I have NO idea where I packed all the burp cloths.

If we supposedly treated Brock like a 3rd child because of how laid back Matt and I are, then I fear 2.O is getting treated like #6...so, he/she should be able to raise themself, right?

Right.

LIFE.

My life at 35 weeks pregnant, could not be any more insane. At this point, I am literally taking it day by day. Thinking about the future only leads to an overly dramatic, hormone intensified meltdown about my life, and where it is going. I bring you back, yet again, to my favorite quote: "There's a strong correlation between being happy and (1) being basically in control of your own destiny; (2) being physically healthy; (3) being happily married; (4) living in a country where there's opportunity." I am absolutely NOT in control of my life right now.My first [and favorite] element that is out of control. Baby 2.O. I have no idea when baby will grace us with his/her presence. I have no idea if it will be a smooth, uncomplicated labor. I have no idea if baby is a girl or a boy - and I cannot wait to find out! I will tell you what I do know. According to the 35 week sonogram, Baby 2.O is 6lbs 4oz (4 oz's less than Brock at this point - though this was done at 34 6/7, Brock's could have been done at 35 4/7, which would make their weight identical. And sonogram weight's are not exactly accurate, but whatev.) Baby is head down. And baby is currently, very healthy. I would like to add a couple other observations at this point. A friend of mine recently delivered a 6lb, 39 weeker. She never felt too physically uncomfortable. I now realize, if I had given birth to this child one week ago - when it weighed 6 lbs, I would never have been all that physically uncomfortable either! It's only been the last couple weeks that I have noticed the waddling, the hip discomfort and the inability to easily switch sleeping positions. Also, to note, I am holding strong at a 21lb weight gain (if you took a gander at the link above to this same post from my pregnancy with Brock, I was right at 20lbs - so again, very similar.) Despite identical pregnancies - I am still holding out hope that 2.O could be a girl, though a boy would be mighty wonderful as well. Seeing as I am still, to this day, absolutely in love with and obsessed with Brock.

The next element of life, for which I no longer have control is where I will be living next year. In March, I find out where I match for residency. I have done all I can at this point. I have turned in my applications, and all I can do is wait, hope I even get any interviews, and then hope the programs I like, like me. I would LOVE to stay in Kansas City, but that is only a slight possibility.

The last element of my life, over which I do have some control, is passing my board examinations. I recently found out that I have to retake one exam. So now, while I busily try to prepare for the arrival of a new baby and continue rotating so I can graduate on time (and of course, my October rotation is one of the most important clerkship's I will participate in because it is with UMKC - a residency program I may hope to join), I must also be rigorously studying to retake the exam on November 30th. The prospect of relaxing at home with my 2 children for an entire month is lost. I must again study, study, study, while family and friends get to enjoy the newness of Baby 2.O and the silliness of Brock. Though, who are we kidding? As if I wouldn't get a little stir crazy at home all day everyday; I will more than likely welcome the reprieve of slipping away to Latteland for a couple hours to study.

Luckily, I still have #'s 2 (debateable), 3 and 4 of my quote well intact. And though my stress level is nearly through the roof at this point, I cannot truly be all that upset about it. Because though I claim to be out of control of these elements in life, I chose to be in this position. I am glad I even have the opportunity to finish medical school and become a physician. I am over-joyed that I get to expand my already beautifully perfect family. And, if I take life, day by day, as I should, I am completely happy (and a little uncomfortable).

Lastly, I absolutely MUST give Matt some credit here. He just keeps truckin' on, working 12 hour days at Cramer, Inc, then coming home and doing little odd jobs around the house. There truly is no rest for the weary around this place. Thank goodness someone around this house is emotionally stable, and levelheaded, cause as I hope it has become pain-stake-ingly obvious that I am not, and, well, Brock is 22 months old, I'll give you one guess as to how stable his emotions are...